CYNĀNE

SHE’S THE BADASS HALF SISTER OF ALEXANDER THE GREAT THAT YOU’VE PROBABLY NEVER HEARD OF – ‘‘THIS IS A MAN’S WORLD’’, RIGHT ? SHE CAN HUNT, FIGHT, AND RIDE A HORSE, WHICH IS PRETTY AWESOME FOR HER TIME (AND FOR OURS AS WELL, LET’S BE HONEST), SINCE A PRINCESS IS EXPECTED TO FOLLOW SOME BASIC OLD-FASHIONED WELL BEHAVED RULES.

IT WAS HER MOTHER’S BELIEF THAT WOMEN ARE EQUAL TO MEN (DID GREEKS INVENTED FEMINISM TOO ?!), AND BECAUSE OF THAT IDEOLOGY, CYNANE WAS AN INDEPENDENT AND POWERFUL YOUNG LADY, WHOSE COURAGE AND WARRIOR’S SKILLS WERE PROVEN BEFORE SHE WAS EVEN TWENTY, WHEN SHE FOUGHT, ENSLAVED AND KILLED AN IMPORTANT PRINCESS FROM HER MOTHER’S COUNTRY, ILLYRIA.

NATURALLY, SHE CHOSE TO FIGHT ALONGSIDE HER FATHER, PHILLIPE II OF MACEDOINE, AND WHEN HE WAS ASSASSINATED, SHE JOINED ALEXANDER THE GREAT’S ARMY.

SHE MARRIED HER COUSIN AMYNTAS BY THE WILL OF HER FATHER, WITH WHOM SHE HAD A DAUGHTER, ADEA. ALEXANDER, FEARING CYNANE’S POWER AND AMBITION OF TAKING THE THRONE OF DECEASED PHILLIPE II, HAD AMYNTAS KILLED, AND TRIED TO HAVE HER REMARRIED TO A NON THREATENING SUITER.

LITTLE DID HE KNOW THAT THE REBEL GAL HAD PLANS OF HER OWN. REFUSING TO BE DOMINATED BE ANY MAN AND WANTING TO KEEP HER INDEPENDENCE, SHE POISONNED HER HUSBAND-TO-BE TO DEATH. OK, THAT’S NOT ACTUALLY 100% PROVEN, BUT THE LAD DID DIE RIGHT BEFORE THE MARRIAGE, SO WHAT ARE THE ODDS, RIGHT ?

BESIDE BEING A TOUGH WOMAN, SHE WAS ALSO A VERY COOL MOM, WHO TAUGHT HER DAUGHTER ADEA THE SAME THUG EDUCATION SHE HAD, CREATING A LONG BLOOD LINE OF INDEPENDENT WOMEN WHO DON’T TAKE SHIT FROM MEN.

ANYWAY, SHE DID A BUNCH OF OTHER COOL STUFF TOO BEFORE SHE WAS KILLED BY ALCETUS, WHO WAS ALSO AFRAID OF HER POWER (TAKE NOTES, LADIES). LONG STORY SHORT, CYNANE IS AN INSPIRATION TO ALL WOMEN OUT THERE WHO ARE TRYING TO BE STRONG, BRAVE, INDEPENDENT, AND WHO WON’T HESITATE TO PUT A MAN IN HIS PLACE FOR WHISTLING AT HER BECAUSE SHE LOOKS FLY IN OUR SWIMSUIT.